Ninja Don't Need Sticks to Get the Job Done
by RamenIsRad
Summary: Naruto clashes with the wizard folk from Harry Potter. Two-Shot.


**Ninja Don't Need Sticks to Get the Job Done**

**Two-Shot**

**Part I: Ninja Have Scrolls, Wizards Have Wands**

* * *

**Summary: **_Naruto clashes with the wizard folk from Harry Potter._

**Disclaimer:**_ I do not in any way, shape, or forms own Harry Potter. It belongs to J.K. Rowling. Also, I do not in any way, shape, or forms own Naruto. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. So lawyers everywhere can put their suitcases away and read this fic without trying to figure out how much money they can get out of suing me._

_I'm not fork tongued - I promise._

* * *

"He has to be the most elusive criminal we have ever had a run-in with!"

"I know… even Voldemort was easier to find and kill than this bloke! Even when we get close to him and use our best spells, he just disappears in a puff of smoke!"

"Hmm… we're in deep here… though I'm not sure if he's worse than Voldemort…"

It was a peculiar conversation once you knew who was speaking. Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger were known for their tremendous effort in the take-down of the infamous Lord Voldemort, otherwise known as Tom Riddle a few years prior. They were heroes and believed to be the greatest wizards (in Hermione's case, witch) of their time and more than likely all of time to come. So it was only reasonable that the Ministry recruit them for the latest problem they were having.

"Ron, do you think you could read over the information they gave us one more time?" Harry said in a bored tone with his fingers slipping through his girlfriend Ginny's hair as she slept on his shoulder. She had long since grown bored of guessing who the villain was.

"Right, mate…" Ron took out one the twelve large packets the Ministry sent them with information on the case and skimmed the papers until he got to one of the last pages. "Alright so this person is male… at least he looks like one… he's about six feet… he sports a strange outfit with a headband with a weird wave design on it… that's about it since only one person has seen him in action… didn't think to take a picture I suppose… he wears blue sandals and a big hat…"

"We know what he looks like, Ronald," Hermione told him in an almighty voice. "I think Harry wanted to know why he's such a burden to the Ministry."

Ron blushed. "Oh, right, ehehe." He opened up a different packet. "Let's see here… it says that he has killed about twenty people, he's bloody fast, he does weird dance moves and hand signs and then weirder stuff happens… get this, _he doesn't use a wand_ either! The Ministry wants to keep this secret from the public so they don't go loony… blah, blah, blah…"

He threw the packet back on the table and it slid onto the floor. "Why do they have to bother us? I mean, it's not like the Ministry doesn't have people to do this crap for them, right?"

"Things leak too quickly there," Hermione reasoned. "If only we had a lead… no tracking spells seem to work and we have little information on him at all…"

Harry nodded slowly. "Where were his last few attacks?"

"The Forbidden Forest, actually. On weary travelers who thought it safe to sneak in alone… McGonagall doesn't even know about it or she'd have a fit."

Harry nodded again. "Right, well, I guess we should just head in there and look around. We've dealt with worse I'm sure. The Ministry is probably also just panicking a bit. I mean, only one person has come back alive from this guy, so they were probably just thinking the worst."

"Harry's right. We need to go there and check things out for ourselves," Hermione agreed. "I'll go get some stuff together quick and we'll stay at Hagrid's. We were supposed to check in every now and then anyway since he is on his honeymoon right now with Madame Maxime and he asked us to, so no one should be too suspicious."

Ron laughed. "Hagrid's married… heh… I wouldn't have bet money on that…"

"Ronald, you are _so_ insensitive."

"What? I wouldn't!" Hermione rolled her eyes and marched up the steps of the Weasley abode. "Hermione! Wait! Don't be mad at me!"

Ron went and chased after her, and Harry laughed. "Good thing Ginny can take a joke…"

* * *

Uzumaki Naruto was taking his fine time this morning. He was walking around the forest looking for a good spot to train, since he needed to get stronger as he always did, but for some reason he didn't feel that much in a rush today. His ego was high and he felt that there was nothing out there stronger or better than he was. Heck, he even got ramen for free since the old ramen guy didn't feel much like charging him since their business was doing so well they had to add on more stools.

"What an awesome day!" Naruto cheered to himself.

Of course, most people know that good days can turn bad quickly as it was about to for Naruto, but he just didn't think too much about it until it started taking a turn for the worst.

"Hey, Naruto!" The blond turned around to see his longtime crush walking over to him. Little hearts danced around his thoughts as he smirked to himself and waved. "Hey, Sakura-chan!"

She ran over to him with a big smile. "Tsunade-sama has a mission for me, you, and Sasuke, but apparently it was too much of a pain to wait for you so I came here to get you to where we need to go!"

Naruto sighed. Of course she wouldn't be smiling unless Sasuke was involved somehow. Then again, a mission would be awesome! Just what he needs: another opportunity to come out on top looking cooler and tougher than ever. As long as he got to get stronger, it would be well worth his time. "Let's here it!"

"Well there's this Mist Ninja, Jakuro, that's in our territory and giving some of the neighboring villages problems. He also apparently got one of our ninja to work with him and give him one of our sacred scrolls."

"Who?" Naruto asked, getting a little more intrigued.

Sakura shrugged and started to make toward their destination with Naruto following eagerly beside her. "Beats me. Shizune said they found him this morning and that's how we have all that information on him."

"Is that all he did? Steal a scroll?"

"Well, he murdered a lot of people in his village before heading over here," Sakura said. "And then he just disappeared without a trace. Weird, huh?"

Naruto laughed. "Whatever. He won't be able to much disappearing once we meet up!"

* * *

"So, here we are! See anything? Any random bloke strolling around catch anyone's eye? No? Then I say we call it a day!"

"Ron, we haven't even gone into the woods yet."

Ron sighed, "Oh, right." He had bad memories associated with the forest and was more against actually going in then his friends were. A moment later he found himself following them through the thick woods that were inhabited by countless dark creatures, centaurs with foul moods, cob webs…

"COB WEB! IT'S HUGE!"

Hermione and Harry gave a half glance toward the tree with the supposedly 'huge' cob web that was, in reality, only about the size of a basketball. Ron whipped his wand out and held it out in front of himself. He wasn't taking any chances. Hermione giggled and Harry just hoped that this situation wouldn't turn into a flirting session. It was awkward hearing your two best friends talk about how they turn each other on… ewe…

"Oh Ron!" Hermione said with a wink. Ron blushed and puffed his chest out and stopped his wand from shaking. Harry muttered something along the lines of, "Let's just find him and go…" before quickening his pace into somewhat of a sprint.

Hermione rolled her eyes and jogged behind Harry with Ron hopelessly trying to get her to notice how manly he ran when he was scared.

Suddenly, Harry stopped and so his friends caught up with worried expressions. "What is it?"

Harry pointed his wand at a body that was dangling from a branch by a few thin and seemingly translucent wires. Ron swallowed and Hermione took a step closer hoping to not be able to identify the person. "They have no visible wounds. The wire isn't even around their neck. How strange… I wonder if someone used an Unforgivable Curse on him."

"I'm going to guess this is the work of our mystery man. Any other guesses?" Harry looked around and saw agreeing nods. He moved his glasses up his nose and walked up next to Hermione to study the body as well. "Why would he do this?"

"I have a better question for you, Harry," Hermione said. "How did he do this?"

* * *

"Sasuke, did Tsunade tell us what was in the scroll he stole yet? Or why he would do this?"

Sasuke shook his head slightly down at the pink haired kunoichi. "Not yet."

Squad Seven was standing around Tsunade's office with drooping faces. After Sakura had come back with Naruto, Sasuke had kindly informed them that Tsunade went to go dig around and see what scroll he stole, saying she wanted to "prove a hunch" she had. Shizune had gone jogging after with a pile of papers, so it was just them.

"Teme, wanna hear joke?" Naruto offered out of boredom. Sasuke had answered with a, "Hn," so Naruto just took it as a, "Yes." "Okay, so there were –"

"Sorry to keep you guys waiting so long," Tsunade cut in as she strode into the room and dropped her stuff down on her desk. "I snooped around and looked at some records of scrolls that were restored by Sarutobi-sensei. I remembered seeing him work on the particular scroll that the man who stole it for Jakuro described. Turns out it fits perfectly into our problems with him since that scroll contained a technique of teleporting between here and some other place. Too bad I didn't ask sensei where that other place _was_. At least I know what he wrote on it so I'll be able to make a temporary duplicate so you can go wherever he went and get our scroll back."

"How can you remember all that?" Sakura wondered aloud.

"Eh, some things you remember better than others. I guess it's just luck that I was paying attention to him that day is all," Tsunade answered offhandedly seeing how she had already set to work on the new scroll. "It's relatively easy to make. All you three have to do is put on your hands in the middle of this open circle in the middle and press down for a couple of seconds and poof, you're there. You'll have to do the same if you want to get back here."

"Sounds easy enough," Naruto commented.

"It should be, yes. Just make sure you come back with _both of the scrolls_. If you leave one of them and somebody gets a hold of it and pops into my office, I'm coming after you three."

After that statement, Sasuke and Sakura simultaneously set their sights on Naruto, who was off in Naruto-Land and absently gave Tsunade a thumbs-up. "No problem, Tsuande-baachan! You can count on us!"

"Don't call me that!" Tsunade growled. "You can all go and get packed. I suspect this mission should take two days tops, so be prepared. Report back here in two hours. I should have this all finished up for you by then with any extra details you might need."

The three ninja all bowed their heads and filed out of Tsunade's office. Naruto ran to catch up to Sasuke. "So anyway, back to that joke… hey, Sasuke-teme, hold up!"

* * *

Harry was getting frustrated with his luck. He hadn't thought he would have to wait out by a dead body for an hour until the Ministry got it down and snuck it back to the offices to identified and properly put to rest. He had also hoped the killer would return to the scene of the crime, but that had not happened.

"Anything interesting happen?" Ron had asked him when he came into Hagrid's hut to the smell of Hermione cooking.

"Nope. The body was taken away. Other than that I could get more action watching a muggle chess game." He collapsed onto a wooden chair and subconsciously started to pat Fang, who was conveniently sitting beside him, on the head.

"Ron, get some plates out and get everyone a drink, won't you?" Hermione ordered from the kitchen. As Ron reluctantly set to work, Hermione directed her attention to Harry. "I wasn't expecting anything big to happen right away," she said. "If it would have, the Ministry wouldn't have sought us out, would they? We're just going to have to wait it out is all."

"But what if nothing has happened in a week?" Harry asked.

"Then we'll just have to find a new lead I suppose. No, Ron, those plates are much too small. Hagrid has larger ones on the shelf above it. No, not that cabinet, the other one. The one of the left. _You're other left_."

Harry looked out the window hoping to see something he missed. "Right, well, if nothing has happened by Wednesday night, I say we regroup and check our information again."

"Agreed," Hermione said.

* * *

"I DISAGREE!"

"Naruto! It's only for this mission, okay?"

Naruto was gloomy at the fact Sasuke had just been declared the 'leader' for the mission. "Sasuke thinks he's so great," Naruto thought miserably to himself. "Well I'm better!"

"If we're all calmed down now, I'd like it if each one of you would lay your hand out as evenly as possible in this circle space right here with no writing," Tsunade said. The three Genin did as they were asked. "Now press hard. And I'll see you when you get back. Good luck."

"Wait, so do you still have no clue where you're sending us? But you're sending us anyway?!" Naruto remembered to ask. As the air around them started to swirl and their vision started to go blurry, he heard a distinct, "You got it."

Harry sat bolt upright. He just had a strange dream, which in itself was strange since he hadn't had any for a while. He was watching this person form blue magic in his hand. It was spinning around and around and around…. He woke up before he could see who it was. He rubbed his head and leaned back to go to sleep again when he heard a violent crash and felt wind push its way through the cracks of the hut and make its way inside. As if that wasn't enough, a bright light bolted through the dark and illuminated everything for a brief second.

Hermione shot up on cue. "What was that? It seemed like an explosion!"

"Hphm mph rphmmmmmm," Ron mumbled as he struggled to sit up as well.

Harry smirked, summoned his wand, and sprinted out of the hut to the source of noise. Looks like they wouldn't have to wait too long after all.

* * *


End file.
